Me Before Youthanasia: Why Me Before You is Not Just Any Romance Story

Am I a burden on society?

Is my life worth living?

Does my life really matter?

These are questions that have crossed my mind from time to time, but are questions on which I do not constantly dwell; however, they have recently surfaced from the recesses of my brain, and I have again addressed them, not because I am depressed, nor because I do not wholeheartedly know the answers, but because I have been recently reminded of how society views "my" life, and the topic of disability and euthanasia.

There is this perception that people with disabilities are better off dead. This idea is perpetuated by misconceptions, due to a lack of education, of what it is actually like to live with a disability. So, I am writing to share with you my perception of living with a disability. 

I use a wheelchair for mobility and need someone help me achieve my everyday tasks. However, using a wheelchair and needing assistance do not define my entire life. There are so many more things that make me, me. I am not just a disability, I am Kyann. I do not view my life as any more-- or any less--important than any other person's life. However, this viewpoint may not be shared by outsiders looking in.

I have been told by random people that they would rather die than live my life. Some may have a good intent behind sharing this information with me (as they are inspired by me simply living my life); however, this perception can be interpreted as my life is not worth living, and that I am better off dead than disabled. Is this comment really appropriate? I mean, sure, my life can be difficult at times, I am not going to deny that, but who's life is not? I have witnessed many people go through rough situations, and even though I may not have envied them, never did I view their trial as worse than death. Their life--and every life -- is sacred and worth living.

This idea of "better off dead than disabled" is driven by misconceptions broadcasted to the world by the media. Movies are greatly influential (even when they are fictional). Hollywood is sorely lacking in movies that represent the diversity within the disabled community. There are documentaries (not necessarily produced by Hollywood, but still a part of media) about people with disabilities; however, they are poorly circulated, and many push the pity agenda while portraying the disabled as inspirational heroes. I have never watched a movie where a disabled person was the main character, who was played by a disabled actor, that did not end with the disabled character choosing to end their life. Just once, I would love to watch a mainstream movie, that portrays a disabled character in a positive and accurate light.

Whose Life is it Anyway, Million Dollar Baby, and now Me Before You, all perpetuate the perception that it is better to be dead than disabled. These movies flaunt the perception that disability is a burden, but ironically these movies are actully burdening the disabled. It is important for people to understand it is the social stigma that stands in the way and hinders people with disabilities. If the world views the lives of the disabled as so horrible--beyond worth living--then there is no reason to provide equal access and opportunity to the disabled population; since disability eliminates the quality of life, the disabled would rather die than have access to enjoy life. On the contrary, overall, my quality of life has not been diminished nor eliminated due to my disability. If anything, my quality of life has been most affected by a lack of access and the misinformed perception of people with disabilities.

One of the problems with Me Before You is that there are not movies with which to make a comparison. This story is just one person's opinion, and I am not opposed to someone sharing their opinion; however, when there is nothing with which to cross check an opinion, and people are poorly educated on the topic of the opinion (in this case life with a disability), the opinion can be misinterpreted as fact. And, with regards to Me Before You, it is especially important to understand that the author, Jojo Moyes, did not do her research. This story does not interpret how life with a disability is really like. For one, misusing/making up medical terminology is not acceptable (as this information is readily available), and even more importantly, not every person with a disability desires to die.

When Will Trayner follows through with his decision to end his life at the end of Me Before You, he may have ended his physical pain and suffering, but at the same time, he ultimately legitimized the perception that life with a disability is a horrid reality. Disability is not typically the horrid reality that Hollywood portrays; it is not the disability that is the hindrance, but rather the mindset of society.

In contrast, throughout the storyline, Trayner encourages Louisa Clark (his caregiver), to better herself and to live boldly. Clark, who had been gang-raped as a teen, struggles immensely with her emotional pain and suffering. Both these life experiences are physically and emotionally scarring, both need healing; but who has the right to say one should live and the other should die?

Me Before You is not just another romance story; it impacts my reality, my everyday life. Here's the deal, anyone--disabled or not--could be depressed and feel unworthy of living. However, when people who do not have a disability have the overwhelming desire to end their own life, there are suicide hotlines, psychologists, and psychotherapists ready to help and access to medications; and if a person does lose their battle to depression, it is a tragedy.

However, if a person with a disability desires to die, it is considered a dignified act; there are not preventative steps, there are just "helping" hands to guide the disabled person on their way. And, when the disabled person slips away, there may be sadness, but it is not considered a tragic event, as the disability was the "tragedy".

So, am I really better off dead than disabled?

I am totally in disagreement with the message being portrayed in the storyline of Me Before You! Poorly researched information creates a misperception of what it is like to live with a disability. I may get frustrated due to the ignorance of uninformed people, and from not having equal access to buildings or job opportunities; and yes I do experience pain, but I love my life and I intend to live it to the fullest.

So, no! The answer is I am NOT better off dead than disabled.